Dear Future You,
I should probably start saving all of these random letters that I write to you. I have no idea if you will want to read them but here's the first that I'm actually saving.
I'm officially knee-deep in college and friends and all that comes with college. And all the expectations that come with college.
Do you know how many times I heard, "I met my husband my freshman year of college and I just knew he was the one." It's insane. Congratulations. I'm so happy you're happily married for 30-some years and have kids and a growing family. Really, I am.
Do you know how frustrated I get sometimes? With all these cutesy couples walking around that have been dating for years and are in their relationship together and with Christ.
Sometimes I ask the Lord the typical questions "WHO, what, WHEN, where?!" Sometimes a little more vocally than others.
Are you here, at school with me? Are you back home? Have I already met you? If not, when will we meet? If we have, when will the Lord reveal to both of us His plan?
I have no idea.
Future You, I can't wait to find out. I'm excited as frustrating as now can be sometimes. I can't wait to see what the Lord has for us together. If He can do crazy things in my life, imagine if we're together? (We better hold on tight in that case!)
Future You, I hope that you are solid in your faith in Christ right now. I pray you can lean on Him and trust Him with all that is in you. I pray that when we are together, we can lift each other up and lean on Him together with all of our might.
Future You, I hope you all well. I pray that life is going as smoothly as possible and you are enjoying every second with whomever is surrounding you. I pray that you are in good health and that your family is in good health as well.
Future You, I hope you love to serve. I pray that you want to serve Jesus everyday, in everything, and in every way. I pray that you have the same passions for service that I do and we can serve Jesus and other people together. I pray you have seen God work in amazing ways through your service. I pray that you give God all the glory for the things that He has done through you.
Future You, I hope you will be the best Daddy ever. You have some big shoes to fill because my Daddy is the best. I pray that you will love our children (Lord, willing) with all of your heart and teach them to love and serve Christ. He is so worthy.
Future You, I can't wait to hear all about what God has done in your life. I can't wait to laugh with you, serve Jesus with you, and just enjoy being with you. Until that day comes I continue praying for you and hoping that the Lord will orchestrate everything to His perfect will.
“How deep the Father’s love for us. How vast beyond all measure. That He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure.”
I absolutely love this song. It is so true of my life. Throughout the past few months God has overwhelmed me with radically amazing love. I don’t deserve His love. Like ever. Every single day I will mess up, say something completely stupid, or not represent Christ in the way I should. But still everyday Christ will pour out His love to me in some way. It may be through the beauty of His creation taking my breath away, someone totally random coming up to me and encouraging me, or just laughing until my face hurts with friends. Now why on earth would I deserve this when I fail Him over and over?
His love is crazy. He is crazy about every single one of us. We have stolen His heart. In the NKJV, we ravished His heart.
“You have ravished my heart,
My sister, my spouse;
You have ravished my heart
With one look of your eyes
With one link of your necklace.”
Song of Solomon 4:9 NKJV
The definition of ravish of is “to fill someone with intense delight.” That is just so crazy to think about to me! That even though I sin, mess up, and take the glory for myself instead of giving it to Him, I still fill Him with intense delight!!! WOW!!
“I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power, no wisdom. But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection!”
These past few days instead of me filling Jesus with intense delight because of His radical love, He has been filling me and filling me with intense, refreshing, overwhelming love, joy, and delight. These past few days have been sweet, sweet times of fellowship with old and new friends and priceless and much needed alone time with my God. He has blessed me with so many things in the past and is continuing to bless me. But He also challenges me and stretches me beyond what I think I can handle.
I have just now gotten comfortable and getting used to college life. Ha! That’s usually how it works, isn’t it. You get comfortable doing something or get in a good routine and BAM! God calls you right out of that sweet little comfort zone. At least, that’s how it works for me. Since I have gotten all comfortable and settled, God has said “Allison, I want you to do….” Um.. Say what?! I was sitting there for at least twenty minutes arguing with the Lord (not out loud, thank you) about why I should NOT be the person to do the particular thing He wanted me to do. But every single time I would think about it, mention it, hear it mentioned I would get immediate butterflies all in my tummy.
So I invoked my mom's 24 hour rule. You pray about something for a solid 24 hours and whatever the Lord tells you, you know that's what you need to do. So for that solid 24 hours I argued and argued and the Lord just gave me the same verse over and over again.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you
My power is made perfect in weakness.'
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness,
so that Christ's power may rest on me."
2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
Praise God that I can mess up and make a fool of myself because when I make a fool of myself, Jesus shows up and shows off through those weaknesses. Whatever I feel like I'm lacking if I trust God, then He will make Himself known through my weaknesses. Why would I say no if He is going to show up through me and make Himself known. That's what I really want for my life, for Christ to be more and me be less. So because Christ's grace issufficient for me, then I will say "yes" to Jesus. Sometimes I will kick and scream and throw a fit but I will say "yes."
I'm terrified about what God has called me to do right now. It is waaaayyyyyy outside my comfort zone but I'm also excited to see what God is going to do. I know that it will be hard but it will be so worth it! Jesus is so worth it!
"Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer. But this I know with all my heart, His wounds have paid my ransom."
I am currently a student learning more about life and Jesus' marvelous love and boundless grace.