Why, hello people I love.
Has anyone told you today that you are amazing? No? You're amazing! You are the bomb dot com and I am so glad that you are here! Lately we've been covering some pretty heavy stuff and you guys have been great! I've loved hearing your feedback and words of encouragement. You'll never know how much it means to me. This post is a little bit different. Almost a month ago (where has July gone?!) I was at the beach and some time to sit on the beach and just listen for God's voice. It was an incredible experience. Maybe one day I'll share more about that but for now, here are just a few things the ocean taught me while I was there: 1. We're drowning in an ocean of grace and it's the only thing that can save us. We are all sinking into a bottomless, limitless, unrelenting ocean full of grace and we're hopeless. There's nothing we can do to stop it. We can fight it for all of our lives and stay as close to the surface as possible but it will kill us. Until we stop fighting the grace that wants to drag us deeper into its being, we will be missing out on the greatest gift that was ever given to us: Jesus Christ. Stop fighting. Drown in this ocean of grace because it truly is the only thing that can save you. Drag me deeper and deeper, Lord. 2. Being still and silent is sometimes more necessary than pretty words. I have found that people don't always need you to have a response when they're unpacking their struggles for you. Sometimes, they just want to unpack and need you to listen. It's surprising how much you can learn from what is being said (and not said) by just listening. Sometimes words aren't necessary in prayer. Sometimes we need to sit down, shut up, and open our hearts and let Christ intercede on our behalf. God knows what's in our hearts and once we are still and quiet enough to be open and vulnerable to Him, He will fill you, comfort you, sustain you, strengthen you, give you hope, give you life, and just be your God. He's so amazing and beautiful and wonderful that it makes my soul sing. 3. All of nature has a song. Some voices are louder than others but every voice and every song worships and edifies the Lord God Almighty. The ocean has one of the most powerful songs on the entire planet. It's beautifully dangerous and incredibly profound for several reasons. It listens and obeys the Lord without questioning Him. When He says, "Tide, it's time to come in." The tide comes in. There are hurricanes with waves and winds that seem to be out of control but in reality, each wave and each gust of wind has been intentionally commanded and unquestioningly obeyed. The ocean's unwavering obedience is it's song and it sings day in and day out without dependence on how it "feels." Feelings are fickle and regardless of how we feel, God more than worthy of our worship. 4. The waves are a perfect representation of God's vast power and unbelievable restraint. This is a big one. The ocean is so big, so wide and so deep and is easily a representative of the width, depth, and greatness of the love of Christ. It also is a representative of His strength and grace. The tide only comes but so far and even during hurricanes and tsunamis, the waves are only so strong and come so far inland. At any moment, God could command the ocean to flatten us all and the ocean would obey. Are we forgetting that God flooded the earth? Yes, He promised He would never do it again but it doesn't mean that He couldn't. If you ask me, we're no better than we were in Noah's day and God could definitely "teach us a lesson" but He shows us so much grace over and over again. We're still here. We woke up this morning and our hearts are still beating. THAT is amazing grace. 5. The tide comes and goes but the One who makes the tide stays forever. There is something so fascinating about the tide to me. It comes in and goes back out but only at certain times of the day. Sometimes in comes in quickly but lingers when it goes out and other times it's the opposite. The waters of the ocean are constantly changing but God, who made the ocean and commands the tide, remains constant. We can always count on His consistency and His love. Those two things are non-negotiable. 6. What I look like doesn't matter to the ocean. Who I am doesn't matter to the ocean. Where I've come from and what I've done doesn't matter to the ocean. All that matters is that I'm there. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what we look like, where we come from, or what we've done. Christ accepts us as we are. He died for our best days and our worst days. You don't have to get your mess together to come to Jesus. Come to Him broken, hurting, and all bent out of shape. He wants to fix it. He died to fix it. When Christ looks at you, He doesn't see the mess that you're in. He sees what His perfect, redemptive work looks like in you. He knows what the end result will be and loves you even though you ain't there yet. If that's not reason enough to abandon everything you've ever known and follow Him, then I don't know what is. 7. My heart's desire is for my worship to be like that of the ocean's: constantly moving, always singing, all-encompassing, never worrying, and self-abandoning. I want my worship to always be growing and to never stop. I want my worship to be so much a part of my every day life that corporate worship is just icing on the cake and not the sustenance of my worship. I want my heart to be so full of Christ's love and grace that there is no room for any kind of worry, anxiety, or nervousness. I want my worship to be an exact mirror of Christ's life: a willing and obedient servant, even to death. I've got a long way to go but we're working on it.
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It's 2015. There is a whole lot of icky, yucky, mess going on right now. There's a lot of crazy things happening in the public eye and so many heartbreaking things going on behind closed doors. But no matter what seems to be happening in politics or public relations or whatever strikes your fancy, there seems to be a never-ending debate about corporate worship in churches.
Allow me to drop a truth-bomb on all of you right now. This debate will never end. The older generations don't like praise and worship. The younger generations don't like hymns. I am almost 100% positive that when my red hair is replaced with gray and white, I won't like whatever the young whipper-snappers in the church are singing. And it won't matter. I think the reason why this is such a hot topic (people get really heated when you bring it up) among Christians is because we have lost sight of what is truly important when we sing in church: true worship. That is something I think we all can agree on. I was recently listening to a sermon on worship when the pastor made the comment, "Worship is not a means to an end. It is the end....There is a vast difference between worshipping TO God and worshipping FOR God. God does not need our worship." (Bill Johnson of Bethel Church) I think Pastor Johnson brings up a very valid point about corporate worship in churches today. Our worship has shifted from being focused on worshipping God for what He is and who He is to worshipping God because we need to worship Him so we can be filled. If we are all being completely honest here, we are all guilty of this. But who cares, right? Who cares what I or Pastor Johnson or anyone has to say? What does God say about worship? "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23 Worship is not something you come and do on Sunday mornings or Wednesday nights and then leave. Worship is a lifestyle and our worship of our Savior flows from our hearts. If our hearts are clogged with mess that we see on TV, movies, social media, or whatever, ultimately the flow of our worship will be affected. So guard your heart from junk because it affects the lifestyle of worship. Lifestyle. Not activity. How do we do this? What does this look like? "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about these things." Philippians 4:8 Our worship begins with our thoughts. Our thoughts need to be focused on the things that bring God glory. So yes, this does include what you listen to on the radio, what you watch on TV, what you read, who you surround yourself with...the list could go on. Your mind should constantly be heavenly minded. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 So what on earth does all this have to do with what we sing on Sunday morning? Nothing. This has everything to do with your worship throughout your week when your feet aren't in a church and your bottom is not in a pew. Before we can even discuss what worship should look like on Sunday mornings, we have to talk about what your worship looks like throughout the week. Guard your heart, be heavenly minded, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, and rejoice always. "Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations." Psalm 100:1-5 I pick up three major points when I read this: 1. Shout for joy, worship with gladness and joyful songs. 2. Check your attitude at the door - enter the house of the Lord with thanksgiving and praise only. (That means no gossip, no,"I wish so-and-so was here. He/she really needed to hear that sermon this week/last week," no, "did you see what she was wearing?" NONE.) 3. He is good and His love and faithfulness endures forever. "Praise the Lord, praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens. Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness. Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and the lyre, praise him with timbrel and dancing, praise him with strings and pipe, praise him with the crash of symbols, praise him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord." Psalm 150 Four points this time: 1. Anywhere is acceptable to praise the Lord how you choose: his sanctuary, the heavens, anywhere under the heavens. 2. ANY instrument is acceptable and pleasing in the eyes of the Lord. Any volume of any instrument is acceptable and pleasing to the Lord. This includes drums. This also includes drums being played loudly. This also includes guitars and organs at any volume. 3. If worshipping the Lord makes you want to dance, then dance before the Lord. Who am I to say you can't worship in that way? 4. Just praise Him. Who cares if it doesn't sound good? Who cares if it looks different than the person standing next to you? I know God doesn't care. All He cares about is your heart. You may think you sound like a dying duck but if you heart is in the right place, it is the most beautiful sound to the ears of the Lord. "'I tell you,' he replied, 'if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." Luke 19:40 The worship of King Jesus is so important to Him that if we don't praise Him, the rocks will. He is so worthy of our praise and so much greater than any song ever written, any performance, any worship set, and any argument about the "worship" that the rocks are not too lowly (or too proud) to praise Him. This part of our walk with Christ is so important that if we miss this, we miss all of it. Worship is not for God. We worship TO God and in our daily worship, He comes in and changes our hearts to look more like His. Worship changes our lives in every way. It changes our outlook on life, it changes our thought life, it changes the way we treat others, it changes the way we treat ourselves, it changes everything. It breaks my heart every single time I see hateful words being thrown around about hymns and about praise and worship because at the end of the day, is it really that important? Do the songs we sing at church for half an hour twice a week really affect our walks with Christ that much? I pray the answer is no. I pray that this little corner of the internet has clearly demonstrated that worship is not just Sundays and Wednesdays but an everyday lifestyle. I pray that we can put aside our differences and realize that church is about coming together, worshipping the Lord together, lifting one another up, and then going out and making a difference. We are the salt and light of the world; we don't need to take this lightly. "The Lord says, 'These people come near me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.'" Isaiah 29:13 May our hearts be closer to Him than ever before. May our worship be more than a song that we sing. May a rock never cry out in our place. When I am afraid and can't find the strength to be brave, I look to You.
You made the sun, the moon, and the stars with a single breath. You made life and love and all things good. You made these things knowing we would mess them up. You loved us and helped us even though we blatantly disobeyed You. You showed us mercy when we turned our backs on You and hurt our brothers and sisters. You punished us as a parent disciplines a child. Our punishment was for our own good but at first we blamed You. We were angry. We disgraced Your name to spite You. Instead of destroying us like we deserved, You loved us and kept us safe. Once we got our act together and began to hope in You once again, You redeemed us. You brought us out of our oppression. You walked with us and guided us but we did not trust You. We questioned Your will and we complained constantly. You gave us rules and guidelines but we broke every one. We even worshipped other things instead of You. But still showed us grace and mercy. We deserved to die right where we stood but You fulfilled Your promises and still loved us. You gave us all we could ever need and want but that wasn't enough. We wanted to be like everyone else. We wanted a king. I'm sure it broke Your heart to know that we thought You were not enough for us. But You gave us what we thought we wanted. At first, it was good but over time, things started going very badly. We had turned away from You and our hearts were being clouded by darkness. Not for a moment, did You forsake us. You still loved us even though our hearts had turned away from You. Our sins began to pile up and we had rejected You completely. We felt like we didn't need You. Because we were so adamant that we did not need You and hated You, You left us to our own devices. We destroyed everything good in the world that You had made. But because You still loved us, You sent people to us to remind us about You and Your love. We laughed at them, mocked them, and even killed them. We rejected what they had to say about You. Eventually we realized they were right but it was too late. We prayed and begged for mercy but You were silent for hundreds of years. Then one night, You came to us in the form of a human. You were fully God and fully man. You taught us what was right and wrong, how to pray, how to live, and showed us what true love is. Some of us accepted You and followed You but many of us did not like You and even hated You. Your presence threatened their position of power and they sought to destroy You. They had decided to crucify You. In the process they mocked You, beat You, spit on You, and even caused those that believed in You to turn away. As You hung on the cross, only a few remained faithful to You. As You breathed Your last breath, only a few still believed in You. Three days after Your death, You rose again! You restored hope, love, and peace to our lives. Though many still rejected You, those that loved You began to tell of their experiences and many began to love and follow You. After You ascended into heaven, many still rejected You but there were those that waited anxiously for Your return. Although we are still waiting, we are reminded daily of all that You have done for us. There are those that still reject You and do harmful things to those that love You but we remain faithful because You are faithful. So when I am afraid, I remember that You have been brave from the moment You created life. When I can't see what You're doing in my life, I am reminded of Your faithfulness in my life. When bravery feels so far away from me, I remember of what You faced for me and trust that You will make me brave. Without You, I am a scared little girl. With You making me brave, I have the strength and bravery of Christ. You are the only thing that can make me brave. You are faithful. I will praise You for all of my days. As I am sitting down to write what God has laid on my heart, I am overwhelmed. I am flooded with mixed emotions and so many thoughts. I hear the lies that Satan keeps whispering in my ear but I know the truths that Scripture says about me. Lately, it seems like there is a constant fight in my mind. It's not pretty.
Have you ever been through a time in your life when you looked back on your life and wondered how in the world you got there? Well, I definitely have. These moments have been coming frequently this week. Just on Wednesday I found myself sitting on the front row at church during the service thinking, "What happened?" I found myself trying to figure out what happened to the confident girl from last year that was determined to be her own person, do her own thing, and live her life to please God. It's not that she is gone completely... I guess she's just been on a hiatus. Looking back on the past few months, I realized that I haven't exactly been my own person and doing my own thing. I have been doing my own thing but doing it apologetically. As if my service to the Lord and His call on my life is something that I needed to apologize for. The last few months, my apologetic living has turned into a whole new monster. My insecurity monster was/is back and raging. Right now, I find myself having to fight harder than ever to keep the words of Jesus not just in my heart but also in the forefront of my mind. In the quiet, the insecurity monster is louder than ever. "You're over-reacting." "What is wrong with you?" "No one will ever love you." "No one will ever accept you." "Everyone is just pretending to like you." And when I realize that I'm actually listening to the stupid monster, I feel so defeated. I thought I had dealt with this. I thought this wasn't an issue anymore. Then I realized that this is the same monster but not the same problem. But that's something for another time. Well, at the same church service I mentioned earlier, we were reading from Matthew 9. Just one page over in my Bible I had two "Let's Be Brave" sticky notes. I turned the page and saw that "do not be afraid," is in both Matthew 10:28 and Matthew 10:31. God is so good and His timing is perfect. (Just for the sake of not taking anything out of context, I am going to include several verses from chapter 10. I have bolded the verses that we will focus on.) "Be on guard against men; they will hand you over to the local councils and flog you in synagogues. On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you...All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved...So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of these who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:17-20, 22, 26-31 (NIV) Worth more than many sparrows. It makes me weep just thinking about it. Here's the deal, y'all. We love Jesus. We serve Jesus. We have said, "Here I am, Lord, send me," and meant it with every fiber of our being. We hunger and thirst for His presence in our everyday lives. We may be on our mountain top but there is always someone, a group of someones, or an icky circumstance trying to pull us down. They/it may not be trying deliberately but you can feel the tug. You're suddenly confronted with a choice: stick around and fight or walk away. And either choice you make will hurt. My monster recognized that this is where I'm at and is taking advantage of the situation. I realized I am more afraid of those that can only kill my body. I find myself doing almost everything I can to avoid being questioned (in a negative way) about my association with Jesus. I start trying to justify the work that I do for Jesus because some people may view it as a negative thing. I end up keeping to myself what He has whispered in my ear. Instant conviction + simultaneously beating myself up = pity party. Yuck. Yes, I have messed up. I lost sight of what's really important and didn't do what was best for me. And as a result, I have ended up here fighting my monster with every fiber of my being every second of every moment. Despite all that, I am worth more than many sparrows. There is nothing that I could do or could not do that can change that. I am a messed up sinner in desperate need of a Savior and I am still worth more than many sparrows. You are too. I don't know what you're going through, what circumstances seem to be consuming your days, or what your struggles are. But I do know that you are so loved, so strong, and worth more than many, many sparrows. Close your eyes and hear Jesus whispering those sweet words to you. He knows your circumstances and your struggles and He still thinks you are priceless. There's no way to measure your worth. You are worth more than many sparrows even when you feel worthless. You are worth more than many sparrows even when you can't seem to get over whatever struggle you're facing right now. You are worth more than many sparrows even when you are depressed, angry, upset, or any other emotion that could course through your precious veins. You are worth more than many sparrows even when you mess up big time. You are worth more than many sparrows when things are good. You are still worth more than many sparrows when things are not so great. There's nothing you could do to change that fact or change the way Jesus feels about you. I'm sure you're probably facing some monsters right now and I am praying for strength, wisdom, and courage for you. Together, we can overcome our monsters and together we can yell from the rooftops the truths that Christ has given us. Sweaty palms, heart racing, flushed face, and pure panic.
This was almost a day to day experience for me. It didn't matter if it was a presentation in front of the class, meeting a new friend, or just something outside my usual activities. I completely avoided anything outside that small bubble that I called my comfort zone. I think many people can relate the panic I felt and sometimes still feel any time I stepped out of my comfort zone. My comfort zone was where I wanted to stay 24/7 and if I moved out, it felt like immanent death was sure to follow. When we say "comfort zone" and staying within our comfort zone, we think of a place that is something that is not confrontational or scary. We think of our happy place and the place we feel most like ourselves. We call it a comfort zone because it's comfortable and entices you to stay and never leave. It offers you everything you need to get by in life without ever having to step just a little bit outside. But that's the catch with staying in our comfort zones. We're just "getting by" in life and not actually living. After spending many years inside my comfort zone, I feel like there is nothing about the comfort zone that is comfortable. Once I ventured outside my bubble I realized that although it may be scary and shocking out here, God's presence, grace, love, and protection is so much more tangible. Outside the comfort zone, we learn to trust Him. Living inside the bubble is living in fear of what is outside of our comfort zone. Living inside the bubble and refusing to come out is telling God that we don't trust Him to take care of us outside our sweet spot. Living inside the bubble isn't really living because we're scared of all the things that are unfamiliar. But what exactly are we living in fear of? Fear of speaking in public, fear of singing, fear of going up to a random person and making a new friend, fear of traveling outside the country to tell others about Jesus? The list could go on. None of those things are bad things -- or even really scary things. We fear what we don't know and what isn't familiar. But at some point in our lives, something changes and we have to adjust and that new thing becomes old hat. It may have made our palms sweat in the beginning but now we don't even think twice about it. For me right now, it seems like every time I get comfortable, I'm called outside the bubble. As a result, my bubble has grown bigger. 6 years ago I would have told you that there was no way that several people visited this website and read entries from my journal. I would have told you that there is no way that I would be writing about things from my journal that are super personal. There are several things that I would have never even considered 6 years ago that are part of my present reality. 6 years ago I was living in fear and not living in the grace, strength, and power that is found in Christ. Now don't get me wrong, I still get nervous when I'm stepping outside my growing bubble but I'm not crippled by my fear and my nerves. But how on earth did I get here? Well, honestly, I don't remember a big A-HA moment where I realized that the air is pretty nice outside the bubble. I think it was a gradual thing. I stepped out to do something that I was passionate about, it made it easier. I was scared out of my mind at first but then I adjusted and now I don't even think twice about it. I also had/have an amazing support system of family and friends cheering me on. So maybe right now you're saying, "So what? I don't know anything I'm passionate about and I don't have a support system cheering me on." Well dear friend, allow me to clue you in on something. You may think that there's nothing you feel passionate about, but that's not true. Your biggest dreams and your greatest desires - those are your passions. God gave them to you for a reason. You may think you don't have a support system but think again! I am cheering for you and praying for you! I know that there are several brothers and sisters in Christ that have been praying for you for years and you didn't realize it. Friend, you are covered in prayers. The biggest thing that has really pushed me out of my bubble is Scripture. 6 years ago I decided that I was going to dive head first into Scripture. I wanted to experience God in a way that I had never before. Through studying the Scripture and learning what God has to say about me, my life, and His power in me, I grew stronger and more confident. Here are some of my favorite verses that really encouraged me to be all the Christ had made me to be: As you read these, I ask that you pray over them and listen to what God may be telling you to do with the passions He has given you. "For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgement." 2 Timothy 1:7 (Holman Christian Standard Bible) "The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1 (NIV) "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) "David also said to Solomon, his son, 'Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.'" 1 Chronicles 28:20 (NIV) "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand...For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.'" Isaiah 41:10, 13 (NIV) "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him, we cry, 'Abba, Father.'" Romans 8:15 (NIV) "Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. 'Do not fear. Do not be frightened.'" 1 Peter 3:13-14 (NIV) "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18 (NIV) Lord God, we are so overwhelmed right now with your words. We are so blessed and so thankful for your love, your grace, and your mercy. Right now, God, we are most thankful for your strength. God, I pray that as we move forward in our day and in our week that you would strengthen us and give us courage to do what it is you have called us to do. Help us to be brave and be bold. Help us to not be afraid of other people's opinions or what may happen but help us to rejoice in your strength and the gifts that you have given us. May we worship you through every step. May we give you all the honor and glory in every good situation and every hard circumstance. You alone are worthy of all worship. Thank you for your Son and His precious life. Thank you that you have allowed us to wake up today and live our lives for you. We praise you because we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It's in your Son's holy and precious name we pray. Amen. Quiet time.
In all my high school days and even now, I automatically cringe at the sound of these two words together. Somehow, anytime we talked about quiet time in church, youth, small group Bible studies, I found myself on the insecure and inadequate train. I found myself berating myself for not being perfect and persistent in my daily quiet time. I also found myself wondering if those preaching at me about quiet time were as consistent in their own quiet time as they presented themselves to be. If we're all honest, none of us are completely perfect at keeping a quiet time. We're busy, we don't have any time, we don't know what to do in our quiet time, we're scared. We have a million and one excuses for not having a regular quiet time. Despite my imperfection and craziness, I have learned a lot about quiet times and how important they are. The following list are things that I have learned about quiet times but that doesn't mean that they work for you. We're all different and we are all at different places in our walk with Christ. God also requires different things for each of us. With that being said, please do not feel like this list is the end all and be all about quiet times. 1. 5 minutes is better than 0 minutes. Despite what you may have heard your whole entire life, some time in God's Word is better than no time in the Word. Even just reading a single Bible verse a day and meditating on it throughout the day is better than not reading anything. Satan can be defeated with a single breath of God. A single Bible verse has the same power. 2. Morning quiet times are ideal but night time is just as good. I am a morning person. I wake up early and I am ready to take on the day. So, most of the time, I get my quiet time done in the morning so I can think about it throughout the day. However, I know that we are all busy and not everyone is a morning person like me. If my day is crazy and for some reason I don't have time to do my quiet time, I usually do it before I go to bed. That way, I am thinking about the love and grace and mercy of God as I lay down to sleep. And when I wake up, I am ready to go again. 3. You are not a bad Christian or "fake" if you have a hard time keeping a regular quiet time. This has been one of the hardest truths for me to learn. If I said, "I'm going to read a chapter of Genesis a day," and I didn't read a chapter every single day, I felt like I had failed God and I was a fake. I felt like a phony because I hadn't read my Bible daily like a good and true Christian did. If you haven't read your Bible today, you are not a failure, phony, or a hypocrite. Sweet friend, did you hear me? You are NOT a failure, phony, or hypocrite. You are dearly loved, saved by grace, chosen by God himself. Whether or not you read your Bible today does not change what Scripture says about you. It doesn't. This should not, however, be an excuse to never read your Bible. Reading your Bible and having some alone time with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords is the most vital element of your relationship with Christ. Religion says, "Read your Bible or else." Relationship says, "Read your Bible and learn more about Me, see My heart, and follow Me." See the difference? When we're in a romantic relationship with someone, we want to learn all that we can about that person. We study them. The same concept can be applied to our quiet time. That time is when we study Christ and learn Him because we love Him and want our lives to point to Him. 4. Studying something from Scripture you are interested in makes a quiet time that much more fulfilling. This is also something else that I have majorly struggled with. Majorly. It's tempting to just open the Bible and read whatever verse my finger lands on. It's also tempting to just stick to Bible studies where other people have given you homework and relying on what they have to say about the Word. Something that I have been doing for the past few years is going through books of the Bible. I have learned SO much from doing this. Whenever I finish a book, I spend a week or two weeks praying and asking God where He wants me to go next in Scripture. He usually shows me where I should be and then I do a little bit of research on the book before I start to get some context on the book itself. Then, I go through and read a paragraph or a section of a chapter of the book. Once I have read my portion for the day, I go through each verse and write down whatever God is saying to me about that verse and maybe how He is applying it to my life today. Here's an example: A few days ago I read Psalm 42 and went through each verse and wrote in my journal what I thought God was saying through these verses. Here is what I wrote about verses 5-8. "Though sorrows and tears come and sometimes overwhelm me, Your faithfulness sustains me. Your love revives me and fills my soul. I am overflowing with Your grace and Your presence. Your love washes over me like the waves of the ocean." I also do the Bible studies with the homework but I feel like I am more connected and in sync with God by going through a book and allowing Him to teach me. 5. Prayer is vital to having a healthy quiet time/relationship with God. I cannot stress the importance of prayer enough. Prayer is SO important to having a personal relationship with Christ. I don't think I am eloquent enough to adequately describe prayer so I'm going to let some of the greatest people describe it for me: "I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time - waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God - it changes me." - C.S. Lewis "Any concern too small to be turned into prayer is too small to be turned into a burden." - Corrie Ten Boom "I have so much to do that I shall have to spend the first three hours in prayer." - Martin Luther "The greatest thing anyone can do for God and man is pray. It is not the only thing; but it is the chief thing." - S.D. Gordon "The essence of meditation is a period of time set aside to contemplate the Lord, listen to Him, and allow Him to permeate our spirits." - Charles Stanley 6. Commitment is what will drive you. If you're not committed or determined, your quiet time will not be regular or profitable. The key thing to having a successful quiet time is commitment. Since I have committed to studying my Bible every day, a fire has grown within me. My desire and thirst for the Words of Scripture cannot be quenched. I can't get enough. If I could spend all day reading and studying and writing about Scripture alone, I would do it in a heart beat. I desire closeness with Christ Jesus and Scripture and prayer brings me closer to Him than anything else in this world. "Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always." 1 Chronicles 16:11 Recently, I had an incredibly opportunity to spend the weekend with a group of teenagers learning about it means to be an authentic Christian.
We spent the entire weekend digging into Scripture where Jesus defines what is means to follow Him and what it means to be authentic. The whole entire time, I kept thinking about one thing: It is important to be authentic with others but if we're honest, how authentic are we with God? Throughout most of my life, religion has taught me that there were only certain things that I could say to God and there were things that I was NEVER to say to God. I was only to completely worship Him in my prayers. I had to mask the way I felt and be happy in my prayers even though my day stunk. I could NEVER ask God why. I could NEVER be frustrated with God. Then I threw away "religion" and got to know on a personal and deep level the God that I spent all that time constructing "pretty" prayers for. And I realized something: God already knew. He already knew how I felt and knew how angry and frustrated and confused I was. He knew it and still loved me. So why could I not say it to Him? That's just the problem. Religion gives us rules and guidelines to follow in our following of Christ that limit the depth of our experience when we follow Jesus. Relationship with Christ gives us only two rules to follow: "He answered, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind;' and 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Luke 10:27 NIV) When we love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, there are no rules as to how we should pray to Him or how we should worship Him. GASP! No rules?! Our only requirements are to love Him with all that we are and love each other. I don't know about you but when I truly love and trust someone, I tell them everything. I have been blessed to have a bestest friend since kindergarten and I tell her EVERYTHING. She has known me at my very best and has stuck with me at my worst. And I know she would say the same about me. I love her and she loves me. THIS is the relationship that God wants to have with us. He knows us at our worst and celebrates with us when we're at our best. If He already knows this, why would we not tell Him everything? Jesus IS our best friend and He is also our God. We should honor and respect Him but we can also trust Him with our deepest secrets and our heart's desires. We can tell Him how badly our day was and how mad and frustrated we are at Him and our current situation. When I think about us being completely honest with God and how we feel, I think of one person in particular that was completely honest with God: David. David was a man after God's own heart and He was just as human as the rest of us. He had some really amazing highs and some pretty gut-wrenching lows. But throughout the mess-ups and the craziness, David never lost his faith and trust in God. He kept his eyes on the redemptive grace of God and lived his life with the intent to bring glory to God. His life is written out for us in the Psalms and I always feel like I'm ready his diary when I'm going through them but I feel that because of his vulnerability is what makes them so special. They're authentic feelings; not sugar-coated or filter but HONEST. Let's look at some examples: When he's frustrated with his job: "Why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain? ...Therefore, you kings, be wise; be warned, you rulers of earth. Serve the Lord with fear and celebrate his rule with trembling." Psalm 2:1,10-11 NIV When he's afraid: "Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me! Many are saying of me, 'God will not deliver him!' But you, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from His holy mountain." Psalm 3:1-4 NIV When he's hurt or doesn't feel heard: "Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer." Psalm 4:1 NIV When he feels ashamed: "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin...Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." Psalm 51:1-2,10-12 NIV But also as you go through the Psalms, you see David consistently praising God even though there was a lot of stinky stuff going on in His life. You also can see the yearning of David to be someone that God can use and you can feel his desire to see his God. His love and faith and trust in God was evident and this is what God has called us to be as Christians. Authentic. Honest. Genuine. Real, raw, and flawed. From my own personal experience, I have found that if you expose your heart before God, He'll reveal Himself to you - He'll show you His heart and reveal Himself to you in ways you've never imagined. When you allow Him into the deepest, ickiest parts of your heart that you want no one to see or know about, you'll see His heart and His character: loving, merciful, trustworthy, honorable, and KING. I want to challenge you all to be real, raw, and flawed with God and just see how He begins to move in your life. Remove your filters from your relationship with Him and hold on tight because He will take your places that you never would've imagined you were capable of going. Well. We all have heard about it. And I'm pretty sure we're all not unanimous on whether or not the movie "50 Shades of Grey" is appropriate for Christians to watch (and read). The volume of blogs trying to convince those going to see it that it's wrong proves that. The number of Christian men and women arguing in favor of the movie is heart-breaking.
But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I think the main reason this movie is such a hot topic among Christian circles is because many people all over the world and all over the country have lost sight of the most important thing: Jesus. Point blank. We have lost sight of the ONE person in the whole entire universe that thought that our messed-up selves were worth dying for. We have lost our first love. It's so evident in our culture and screaming at us from our television sets and our smart phones. Maybe we didn't lose our fervor for Christ all at once. Maybe we lost it gradually. Maybe we decided to watch that TV show even though we knew that the things portrayed in the show did not honor God. Maybe we read that book that everyone was reading at school or the office so we could talk about it with them but we knew it was wrong. Maybe we clicked on that link and watched something online that we knew we shouldn't watch. Maybe we sent that text or message whose contents contained things only meant for the eyes of our spouse. And we would be embarrassed watching it or reading it if Jesus was physically sitting next to us in the flesh. The fact of the matter is this: we didn't lose our passion and desire for the love of Jesus all at once. We did lose it little by little and now we're wondering why we can't hear from God like we used to. We're trying to figure out why we're so unhappy and negative all the time. We're not someone that we like. And you want to know something? Even though our fire may have died out, God's hasn't. He is still as madly in love with you as the day He perfectly knit you together in your mother's womb. There's no debate about that. His continuous, unfailing, passionate love for us in spite of our lack-luster faith and love is the very definition of one word: Grace. There are so many Scriptures coming to mind but there is one in particular that holds a very special place in my heart that perfectly describes the grace that Christ has bestowed on us. "As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:1-10; NIV) PRAISE THE LORD! We are sinners and we were dead in our transgressions. We followed the desires of Satan and we were disobedient to the call of God. What we wanted, we got and we followed through with our sinful desires and thoughts. BUT GOD stepped in and saved us. Why? Because He was and is madly in love with us and rich in mercy and grace towards us. He brought our hearts to live and redeemed us with His love. As if that wasn't enough, He raised us up with Christ and made us honorable guests in His kingdom and given the riches of His love. It is only by grace that we are saved and there is nothing we could do to earn it. He has also written out a plan for our lives - we are His workmanship, His masterpiece. See, His grace is boundless and infinite. Look at us! We're treating celebrities as gods, listening to music that is unholy and not pure, we are advertising movies that do not bring God any glory at all. Why on earth would He give us grace? Because that is who He is and He knows what He has in store for us. We just need to fall back in love with the man who came and died for us and never look back. We need to worship Him on our faces. We need to follow Him to the ends of the earth. We need to get to know Him as well as He knows us. and we need to love Him more than life itself. His grace is so marvelous, so wide, and so indescribable. There are so many more shades than fifty to describe His grace and love - even hues and shades that we've never seen and couldn't comprehend. His grace is fiery red and full of passion. His grace is powder blue and filled with peace. His grace is bright green and alive with His love. His grace is brighter than the darkest night, deeper than the deepest ocean, and wider than the ends of the earth. Brothers and sisters, may it never be said of us that: "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love." (Revelation 2:4; NIV) Let's fall back in love with our first and greatest love. God's Riches At Christ's Expense Last semester, I spent some time at a local elementary school for some field experience for one of my education classes. It was absolutely wonderful. It was absolutely exhausting. It was by-far one of the most eye-opening experiences in the most unexpected way.
I have the utmost respect for kindergarten teachers and all the work they do to make sure those sweet kiddies are ready for the next level and nurturing their creativity. The thing I admire about kindergarteners is their outlook on life. A stick becomes a magic wand. Some blocks become a giant tower or a wonderful castle for a beautiful princess and a mighty prince. Hide and seek can turn into a magical quest for a cause unknown. The thing I love the most about kindergarteners is that when they look at you, they don't see what grown-ups see. They don't see how crazy you hair looks today or the dark circles under your eyes. They don't see the giant pimple on your forehead or the way your face turns red when you're asked a question you don't know the answer to. They don't notice those things because it's not important to them. They see what truly matters. They see your heart. In just a few days, I had been told countless times by those sweet, little faces that I am beautiful and given countless hugs that mean so much to me. When that beautiful little girl looked up at me said, "Wow, you're beautiful," I don't think she was talking about my appearance but my heart. She could see that I was there to learn about how to be a good teacher, hang out with some of the coolest kids around, and pass out hugs and encouragement. From the eyes of a kindergartener, the world is a big, limitless, and beautifully frightening place to be conquered. From the eyes of a kindergartener, people are naturally kind and have good hearts. From the eyes of a kindergartener, the heart is what matters most. To those kindergarteners, it didn't matter whether or not I need to lose a few pounds or I care too much what other people think about me. It didn't matter that I was absolutely exhausted and not in the best mood in the world. It mattered that I was genuine with them and I truly loved them. So I propose that we try to see the world from the eyes of a kindergartener. I propose that we don't automatically look at someone's appearance and make a judgement about them. I propose that we but on our X-ray glasses and look straight to the heart. I propose that we view the world from the eyes of Kindergartener. I propose that we still look at the world as big, limitless, and ready to be conquered. Because from the eyes of a kindergartener, the heart is the most important thing and what is most visible. It doesn't matter if you face is broken out, your hair is crazy today, you were running late, and you're ill as all get-out. You are beautiful because you have so much love to give and you are kind to strangers. You are beautiful because you are humble and love to learn new things. You are beautiful because you are you. Happy New Year, y'all! If you're like me, you're probably sitting here wondering where in the world did 2014 go?! I have absolutely NO idea! Everyone keeps telling me that time flies even faster when you're older. I'm not so sure I'm ready for all that. I want to start this post by thanking you all for your wonderful support throughout the years and throughout the past year, especially. The blog has had quite a few changes (for the better!) and there will be some other exciting things coming up soon! Thank you all so much for your support in reading the blog, the love letters, and #letsbebrave! Things are so much more interesting when God is in the driver's seat and I'm looking forward to seeing where God is going to take this little corner of the internet in 2015! Internet hugs to you all!! Many people have asked me about the name of my blog and where exactly it comes from and what it means. The story of where it comes from is really really underwhelming but the meaning, to me, is so incredibly powerful. Where the name comes from: It was a few months ago and I was on Pinterest (surprise!) and I stumbled upon a little pin that had the words "And if not, He is still good." At first I thought, "That's nice, I'll pin it" and for a few days afterward the phrase kept popping up in my mind and in my life. So I actually began to ponder what that phrase actually meant. I wish I had written it down in my journal the first time but I did eventually write it down last month. The meaning behind the name: For me, it means that I am learning to trust God explicitly, completely, and in the most radically outrageous way. In my journal, I wrote down a few of my hopes and dreams: I want to get married. I want to have a family. I want to adopt. I want a 4.0 GPA. I want a good job at a good school. I want to be the best teacher EVER. All of them, entirely selfish, of course but then I thought "What if God doesn't give me these things?" I mean, it is something that I need to seriously consider. Am I going to be mad at God if He doesn't provide a husband? How will I react if I can't have a family of my own? What if I don't get my dream job at a good school? What IF? Then, I went back to each item: I want to get married- but if not, He is still good. I want to have a family- but if not, He is still good. I want to adopt- but if not, He is still good. I want a 4.0 GPA- but if not, He is still good. I want a good job at a good school- but if not, He is still good. I want to be the best teacher EVER- but if not, He is still good. Ouch. Am I willing to sacrifice all of those things for the will of God? Six years ago, I would have adamantly said "NO." Three years ago, I would have reluctantly say, "Yes." I wish I could honestly say that 100% of the time I would say, "Absolutely! Yes!" But that would be lying. I can, without a doubt, say this: I want to serve Him all of my days- He will provide and He is good. I want my heart to line up with His will- He is faithful and just to forgive me when I act like the crazy human I am. I want to follow Him wherever He may lead me- He will equip me and I will never be alone. The will of God is perfect and good. If I don't get what I want or desire in life then I know it is for the better because nothing in God's will is for my harm but for my good. "For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer." 1 Timothy 4:4-5; NIV One of my favorite artists in the entire universe is Kari Jobe and one of my favorite songs from her new album, Majestic, is "Always Enough." (If you haven't heard the album, go buy it now! I promise, you won't regret it!) The bridge of the song says, "If I have You, I have everything but without You, I have nothing." This is the cry of my heart. I will find my life in You. You're always enough, always enough. |
Allison MozingoI am currently a teacher and life-long student of Scripture learning more about life and Jesus's marvelous love and boundless grace. Archives
December 2019
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