"Single" is Not a Bad Word

​Dear everyone who has recently asked me when I'm going to bring a boy home,

I love you. Seriously, your love and support is amazing and I am so thankful for you. But I HATE that question. I hate it so much because you guys know me well and know exactly why I haven't brought a boy home.

Can I just say this? I'll be 21 in December. My biological time clock is still ticking, I'm still young, and there's really no rational reason why I should be in a hurry to be barefoot and pregnant. Most importantly, I'm waiting on God's timing, not my own. 

In high school after a failed attempted at dating, I promised myself, my family, and my God that I was going to wait on Him to move in my next relationship. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made and also one of the hardest. It has been a long wait and I'm still waiting but I believe that God will give me what I most desire on this earth: a husband and a family. These years of waiting have been incredibly hard. For those of you who married your high school sweet hearts, you have no idea what it feels like to be in your 20's without a boyfriend when everyone around you is telling you you need one. As hard as it has been to wait, it has been even more rewarding. I have learned so much about myself and about my Savior, the Love of my life. I have learned to find my worth and security in Him and not other people. If I had dated in high school, I don't know that I would have learned how to see myself the way God sees me. I have learned that there is nothing sweeter on this earth (including a husband and a family) than daily experiencing the presence of the Lord. Absolutely nothing sweeter.

This season of singleness has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. One of the things I have strived to do during this time is change the way I view singleness and the way those around me view it. "Single" is not a bad word. It is not something that needs to be avoided at all costs. It's not a curse and NOT something to be looked down upon. 9 times out of 10, if you meet a girl or guy pursuing Jesus that is single, it is because they are very specifically waiting for the one God created for them. I promise you, we know we're single at x age and we are literally reminded of it every single day. We're waiting because we think dating just to date is a waste of time that belongs to God and our husband/wife. We're waiting because being emotionally involved with someone is just as deadly as being physically involved (you can have your heart broken without ever going out on a date). We're waiting because during this season, we want to bring God glory and when Jesus brings the right person, we'll get to bring Him even more glory...together.

I'm not single and miserable because my value is found in the cross of Christ, not in a boyfriend/husband, That doesn't mean that I'm not looking for someone. I'm looking but I'm also waiting on God's timing. It also doesn't mean you have to ask when it's going to happen because I literally have no idea. Guys have come close but God made it clear and He has saved me from a lot of junk.

The truth is, I get ahead of myself and even worse, I get ahead of God. I start planning my wedding and all sorts of crazy stuff like that (you know you did it too). But now I'm older and just a little bit wiser, my goals and desires are different. I don't want to get ahead of myself and God. I have to trust that He knows what's best and if something is supposed to happen, He'll make it happen. I want to rest fully in the Lord and trust Him to take care of me and bring the one in His timing, not mine.

"But you have to put yourself out there," is something I hear a lot too. I have put myself out there. I have friends that are guys, I just don't look at every single friendship as a potential marriage. But when I meet someone, I don't want my head to be clouded with my ideas and dreams for a relationship that I don't hear God telling me "yes" or "no" and question what He's doing. I want to be so aligned with Jesus that when I meet "the one" I can hear Jesus when He tells me, "I had this the whole time. Don't you wish you trusted me from the beginning?" It doesn't matter whether that moment will be this year, this month, or years from now. It doesn't matter that I'm 20 and still single. It doesn't matter that I'm not rushing to get married and start a family. What does matter is that Jesus is always good and always faithful and He has the whole world in His hands: including my relationship status.

You're awesome and I love you but please, stop asking me and other single people when they're bringing a significant other home. When I know, you'll know because you'll be able to meet him. Until then, help me pray for him. Pray that he's happy and healthy and that he is head over heels in love with the Lord. Lord willing, we'll soon be able to put a face to a prayer.

Love always,
​Allison