My Savior, my Lord, I love You.

So the other day I was thinking and wishing that I was alive when Jesus was and that I was one of the 12. How cool would it be to spend day and night beside Jesus and to fall in love with Him face to face? You could hear His voice, see His miracles, walk beside Him, and see others come to know Him. Ohh how I sometimes wish I was there. But then I thought, would I be able to see someone that I love now with all my heart be tortured, mocked, and hung on a cross then? I don't know. I don't think I could handle it. It would almost seem like too much. I love my Savior with all of my heart and I don't think I could stand and watch Him die and not be able to stop it. It would be crushing. And once Jesus rose three days later, would I believe what the girls said? Would I believe Peter and John? Would I run to the empty tomb, walk right in and not hesitate? I'd like to think that I would now right away that everything my Lord had said was true, but I don't really know. But what I do know is this. I don't have to watch my Lord die again because He is alive. I know that either A) I'll get to see Him face to face before I'm dead or B) when I die, He'll meet me at the gate. I get to spend my life with Him forever and ever and ever. I do know that even though I'm not physically beside Him, I am with Him and He is with me. Always and Forever. Amen.
Lord, I love You so much and I would be completely lost without You. <3